Pain and the People

For the quite few days i have been just drooling around, i watched a movie this weekend. It was supposed to be " The Golden Compass"...but what happened was that i landed in some other cinema hall, where they were playing " NATIONAL TREASURE"..i dont quite like Nicholas cage so i watched this hindi movie"Tare Zammen Par".....a typical Indian family movie....people were there with thir wives n kids n fathers n mothers n grandmothers n grandfathers....n grand grand what not!!! But it was an enjoyable movie....which i enjoyed...n i came to realize that i can cry watching movies!......I had to struggle so that a tear doesn't drop off!! It was about kids ....a kid who has dyslexia and who is shuned by family n friends only to be reincarnated through a teacher h finds at a boarding school where his parents dump him. So my review is like everyone lse..good movie..totally watchable.

Ok then i had this fever from day before yestrday, and i had a sore throat. Tonsils...which have been with me since i was a kid. Whenever i have them its very severe. My throat was paining and it extended upto my ears n head...i couldnt eat...i couldnt drink water,....worst thing....i cudnt even open my mouth...forget talking!!cudnt sleep....all i did was a hot water gargle.........n some antibiotics.

None helped yesterday night..it was the maddest ever........so in the morning i went to see a doctor who gave me this big heap of medicines ...and a painkiller which i needed severely. It helped.......or i wud have died out of that. The lady doctor is really nice in our office ..... she helped !! Thanks Thanks...the painkillers n the doc...both of them.

I had to write a lot ...i had so many things..a pigeon did in front of me...the kites here everybody was flying yesterday....th bad traffic where i was stuck.....office gossip n talk.......but wheres the time!!!.......and i think that painkillers effect is rubbing off....and this pain is again starting....so before it starts all over again...i should just go and take care of myself.....cos nobody else is there.
Look, this is the time when you feel the worst.You are in a new place, you dont know anything....not even where u'll find the clinic..you dont have really good friends you can call....well..."friends"...... n then you fear what if you get sick....and then one fine morning..you wake up.......your head n throat n everyting paining like anything....n then you have to go to office as well....coz the most important had of Technolgy is on for a visit..!!!..........i missed my mum a lot...really!! She is the one i can turn upto each time..tell her everything..she is like my best friend.....not like...she is ........they are everything to me!!.......and now i am sick.....i am also home sick...i want to go home.....but i cant...!! Life is sucking big time man!!!

And then people all around you are like " Grow up", "Be Strong", ...most funny " Be a man".....what the fuck man.......i know i am always smiling n when ppl around me dont see me smiling..they think i am sick or i am off or whatever......and i have people around me who are mean, in office everyone is like as in a "corporate world".....having a very "professional" attitude...who joke which sounds more like taunting for each other....gossips are always about the boss" boss is this..boss is that".....everybody thinks they are just perfect....sometime i also hate all these messy people .... hardly you find some good guy who would gives you a good advise.....everyone thinks you are eating on their job and dominance...what the hell !!!

The bad thing is that now i am also a part of all this and i have to 'learn the ropes', but i am not the guy who has a very 'foxy' thing about hiim........i dont really expect people to beahve like that..what to do?..what to do?...what to do?...this pain..fk this also!!

SARIKA n MANISHA--

Today was saturday and i enjoyed it in my own way. I woke up at 10 in the morning..had tea at 11..after that i had lunch between which i read the newspaper...and after sometime today i went out alone. I went out to shop for myself so i went to the ATM and got 5000 bucks....and i went on for shopping. But i couldnt buy anything for myself..i just couldnt choose..so maybe i'll take my friend out tomorrow to shop for me..too confused u c. So after that my friends were at the beach waiting for me. SO i reached there ....and this very sweet girl..she was a kid.....she came to me and told that she wud make a tattoo for me...please have it...I mean she was just so sweet that i cudnt refuse it.......she had an elder sister also. Their names were "SARIKA" and "MANISHA".........i had two tattos.on my arm.....one scorpion and anothre " OM "....a religious style symbol now.........these are not permanent..just 10 days or so. SARIKA actually studies in school........i liked it very much when she told me that she goes to school .................she is really sweet..in 3rd grade....after coming from school she comes to the beach with her box..making tattos for 5 bucks...i really appreciate that girl....she works ..goes to school..at an age when kids are supposed to play....i paid her 50 bucks...not just to show my money....but really....i somehow liked the spirit and swetness of that girl.....she is very sweet. In india..this is very common...kids working..child labour..they are forced in to it...because their parents cant afford anything for them.....and our silly government....its too corrupted to do anything for them. I told here that i would come next sunday also and asked her to meet me .........and she told me" Everybody says that, No one comes"..............i felt bad......u know had i lot of money...i could have adopted her.she is very smart..and she is just how much 9 years??...........there are lot of kids here who just have so much in them but not the right resources..not the right people....people who want to do something for them arent rich enough..and those who have money..they are busy making more money for themselves driving in their sedans..........but kids like them still make a place for themselves in this cruel city.......i hope and pray to god that SARIKA and evrybidy like her..grow up to be great people...

Bar

Today i was supposed to give a party to my office colleagues. So we went to a bar nearby in the evening. It was all o good party. Everybody knew that i do not drink....so no1 actually forced me. WHat i had was a bacardi Breeezer....two bottles...Cranberry and Lime. It had some alcohol i think...no one told me. So i think this was the first time i had some alcohol. Hey..i dont feel dizzy...but anywyas..i hardly liked it. It was sour..and smelt more like vinegar!! Next to me a guy is there american probably....and hes talking to someone about his life here....3 miles form where he lives to where he works.....life is hectic..and all that. I should not hear it but..my ears ..you know they are open to everything. Ok..mexico mexico....hes from mexico...hey emme stop this...!! I think i havent much to write.....I am listening to this beautiful song by Dixie Chicks...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZj0A715HMA

RESOLUTIONS>>>>>>>whattt!!!! really.....really....for real this time

Well...i never thought that someday i would be making resolutions. It has always been a matter of fun and mocking..but i am actually writing this so as to return back next year..see my post and actually assessing as to how much have done....everybody makes resolutions...n i am making mine....some jot it down, others dont....so there are lot of things....and its not possible for me to write them down........

I am in a new job...so i have to make sure that i make my own personal mark..just like not everyone else...i dont have to be in "the crowd"

I should get promoted in a year...that is pretty too much to ask for in such short time, but people have done that..its possible

This new year,i dint feel god being with my guy friends..so obviously...i need a girlfriend...so i'll try to change my status from "single" to probably somewhere between "hanging" and " committed"...somewhere in between...coz i think relationships grow with time...but first i need to find a good girl...pretty soon i have to ..so that needs to be done.

Now that i am earning my own money..i think i also need to learn a bit of saving..i have always been a big big spender...so i'll check that.

I am joining french learning classes soon. I am learning it as part of my plans to join the UN.

I will learn to drive a car..but i wont buy it this year...actually i wont afford it so soon.

I think i trust people very easily..and may be thats why i have also suffered at times...still i havent learned ...change that.

Try and make a trip to some other country..anywhere..no choices...its a part of my"i have to see this whole world" thing.

Join some NGO here....for animals...use my saturdays n sundays for some work for them. Thats actually an interest of mine..

I dont drink..niether do i smoke....i am happy with that i dint get addicted to it..i am 23 and i dont see myself falling into that.......and i should make sure that i dont do that....for now..i am not interested...and i think i wont do it...

.............ok i think i cant stop....but this has to be mentioned....

Try try try to Get up early in the morning....please god..help me with that!!

FINAL WORD
I think we all people make resolutions..and you know what..i think everybody has just the same things they want in life...its all the same except that their personal lives are involved and it sounds different..but its all the same....very much.....we all want to be happy and i think we all strive for it......but let me not write about this..i am feeling hungry..diner dinner dinner..oh yes...i forgot....today three of my friends ..what do u call..looted me...they asked for a treat.....and then i had to..so we went to this Chinese restaurant....pure Chinese ok...with waiters also being chinese in this very big mall....CHINA MING.....and we had lunch..4 of us....with starters...n chicken n sea food from china...a BUDDHA VEG DELIGHT n some kind of chinese rice....and then brownies with vanilla.....
best lunch i ever had...and also the most expensive...very very very ....4 guys......just a lunch!! and nearly 2000 rupees......and still..i had to pay for that.......that was alright for the time being.....but after that really.......i had to think about it....there are so many people in this country who dont get this much money even if they work whole month day n night......and a lunch.....it cost us that much.....i think it was a wastage...it made me feel guilty of something.....


Well..just some of the things i should do....among the innumerable things i want to do.......
make life bigger..its to short.

HAPPY NEW YEAR all my dear friends....

HAPPY NEW YEAR to everyone. It was a great year and we all need to be good enough to admire and accept what all went on in our lives...good or bad. It is the first day of 2008, yet another year in the lives of al the people in this world. So, last night i had this plan of partying n all. At about 10 in the night me n other friend of mine..we went on to this beach expecting all kind of hooplah and partying n singing n dancing n what not...so we reached there somewhere around 11:30 and i was pretty disappointed seeing all the families there..i was expecting something more like us....but anyways..even that was good. But that wasnt the taste of what actually a mumbai new year party fels like. There were fireworks there..lots...some peopele were dancing....others so drunk that they couldnt even walk..one partcular guy..he was standing with his arms stretched on either sides....slanted at45 degrees n he looked as if someone had hanged him from a roof..while he was in the middle of the road....he was drunk..badly.....n then there were hot chicks..with ugly big big chickens with them.......so all in all ..it was fun. After that we went to a bar....i dont drink....my other frinds had some shots..meanwhile i had a choco frappe with a scoop of vanilla and two choco ccokies.....so that was prettty much for a new year party. We were in the bar for about 3 in the morniing.then i got really really frustrated n sleepy....the guy who were drinking looked fine..they wanted to stay...i drank coffee..so i was supposed not to sleep but i felt sleepy...so finally we were back. Well...mt friend..i wont name him..he got too drunk..3 beers he had...and then he had to pee.....while we reached our flat.....till that time he couldnt hold on....andddd.....his pants got spoiled.....tcchhhhh....!!! may me he should have listened to avril "Keep Holding Onnnnn" ...........just so much to start a new year..!! Resolutions .... everyone makes some resolutions..may be i'll also do it.. but ......right now i am light.....i am enjoying..and now i am off to do some shopping..for myself....of i go!!!.......i want to wish everyone a very HAPPY NEW YEAR ..........may god bless you with everything..may success be all yours this whole year round............and be good....do something for nature this year..may be like..STOP USING PLASTIC or TURN VEGETARIAN or may be something for the cause of poor animals.......do it...!! thats the best resolution anyine can ever follow..its easy try it!!!.....>>>>>..........n keep smiling..make others smile..thats the best you can do to anyone...really..........have a wonderful time......

When did i grow up? >>>>>>>

Yesterday was a big day for me... a reminder of something that i have been able to achieve or that yesterday only i came to realize that yes.....now i am someone and i am capable of something....haha. Yesterday ..actually i got my salary..my very first salary. IN the afternoon a friend told me that our salary had been credited and was in our accounts...good..i was just jumping.....because 1. I was in grave need of money...it was drying up fast 2. It was my own hard earned(hey, let me say that..though it not all correct.....all the time i had fun only) money. SO, i went on to check my account and yes..there it was. It was quite a lot of money that was there. I took out a 1000 bucks and well.....i have kept them aside. I wish to keep some money every month and someday use them for a noble cause. I think its a moral responsibility of all of us to do something for our society or lets say... nature..wildlife. Yes...everyone needs to do it. And this has been one of my resolutions since the day i fell in love with the cute fishes my mom bought me when i was in 6th class. Way back..way back. Talking about money again....today i went out to do some shopping for myself...no more small shops....i landed directly into a biggy mall.....the most famous one here in mumbai..looked for a lot of clothes...but then nothing seemed too good...i mean they were good..but i couldnt choose. Sooo....i dint buy clothes. Instead..i found a bookstore there and i bought some books....two books. To kill a Mockingbird---n Their very Special Child.... books..yes.....i think they are me newly found passion....and i wish to have my own very personal library....i already got quite a lot of books....now again everybody is after me for treats n parties.....one because of birthday..two because of the new year..three..because of the first salary.....so not much to be left off that poor hard earned money. But i am glad to have earned that money....it is also one of the first times in life....first time in my life i got my own money....whoaa..i am still absorbing that shock...i have always been a big big spender .... i dont think this will last long.
Thinking back.....its not long...the day i changed school in class 5..that time i first wrote with a pen....a fountain pen..and my noteboks all went blue,,,,bad ink stains....Before that pencils only were allowed....the reason was that they say from pencil ..your handwriting improves..but mine...haha..it is so very poor...all my notebooks were filled with notes n diaries with complaints by teacher abt my writing. I recall a certain incident...once my dad actually gave me something to write.....just so that i improve my writing...so i went on the roof..with one of elder friends who lived there...and somehow i wrote that page....and i dont know....how my handwriting looked good for the first time. And then...i went happily to dad to show him that..and he..mann...he just didnt believe that i had written that...he just wont....i mean he really wasnt accepting that i myself wrote it..instead..who wrote it for you?..good!! was ,y writing was so poor that he just didnt belive that his gadha (donkey)son could write better. I even had to listen to a lecture of not to tell lies also..haha...but this doesnt mean my dad doesnt believe me...he believes in me..he loves me so so very much...i wish everyone has parents like mine..really. I was actually talking bout how time passes without we knowing it. It all seems just like yesterday. All the friends i had in school...going to college...more friends there..ragging..that dirty hostel..more dirtier bathrooms.....than tensions abt exams....then abt job...and then finally you get a job...start earning money....n then...then i have to see. For me.....i thank god for just everything i have in my life....i am glad that i got help at every point of time i needed it.....for all the wonderful friends in my life......whom i admire and turn up to at bad times.......and for constantly giving me inspiration to move ahead..and keeping my feet on the ground...each time every time.

Life is just such a wonderful thing.....so many surprises..good or bad......life is just so short..there is just so much in this world to do. I dont understand why people commit suicides.....life is too precious to be just thrown away.......but let me not talk abt this vague idea this new year. The year i am leaving behind was just great. A very very eventful year in my life....something i would cherish for my whole life. I made friends.....really very good friends......i learnt a lot....and i think by far ..this was the year i sense in me some kind of change..for the better of course. And i thank god for that ..for letting me to be just plain simple ME. This new year..i have to make some resolutions.....not to break them..but to actually follow them. I never believe in making resolutions...but the coming year is going to be important........so i think i need to plan ....plans plans plans...i was never the guy who actually made plans for anything....i have always maintained that "Take life as it comes"..i am not very prudent in my thoughts.....and may be that is damaging at times.....sooo......so showing thought about the future and being prudent enough..i think i shud stop writing now because i need to go to the office tomorrow..!!! I wud turn back tomorrow....

Bye Bye SANTA...HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME !!

It was , infact it still is christmas today..just half an hour more or so i think. Well......i havent really celebrated christmas ever ....may be because i am a from a hindu family....and we people dont celebrate it. But as i have grown up i realized that christmas brings with itself a sense of joy...cheer....happiness...a feel good time ...i mean it all seems n looks so good. That particular day has something special to it. Well...for that matter every festival gives us something to cheer about. So no religion or whatever cpmes in way.........haha.....We had a party of sorts in the office yesterday. It was all decorated for the past few days. Well....talking of today..the morning ii had planned to go to some church today with my friend but that dint happen actually. A friend called and told me that he had been admitted in a hospital..so i had to go n see him. Before that we actually cleaned our rooms ourselves. In the evening we went to the Marine Drive..one of the happening places here in mumbai as they say. Well..why it is so happening? There are couples linnnnned up there..talking n kissing n eating..n ..doing all kinds of stuff. More interesting is that fact that there are these " eligible bachelors"'......haha..also lined up n sitting praying to god..trying to look cool n smart n everything infront of each n every girl they see ..n praying like " Goddd!!!! give me a girlfriend tooo....hey girl!.... give me a look atleast....look..i am here!! i am here!!"...........some others are just there for eaveteasing. They should be better thrown off that small cliff onto the sea i think!!....Well....but today i think i enjoyed the day. Ok..one more thing happened ...one of my seniors (met him at the clinis where the other friend was there) at office who has just resigned actually told me that me boss keeps praising me a lot.....he has got lots of expectations from me....well...the same thing. But i never actually knew that its just a week into my new office and i dont knw why ..i think i have become the talk of that place.....he reminded me of the 'office politics'....i think that actually happens. But i am the kind if guy who would utter anyting..i dont like back biting people ..i never expect people to do that......i thought that nobody would actually do that but i think i have realized that it happens. But like its there" I AM OK, YOU ARE OK "....good thing to follow...n " In the office everybody is called my name..no matter how senior or aged he is. I think i dont like this idea. I think its just not good to call someone older by his name..i just dont feel comfortable with that...people have really told me not to put "sir"..or anything....the first day.......in office..i was calling everybody with a " sir "...later i knew tha soem were actually my juniors.......but i think they are more experienced ..n that needs to be respected. I think managing people isnt a very easy job.......or may be people learn to be rude or good or bad or strict as they move along......but right now i feel that i am just good the way i am..and i just want to be me.....i m very happy with me....and i dont want to change.....for now. Ok...few moew minutes and it will be my birthday.........so i think i have to make some resolutions as well.......first time in my life i am thinking of that......so let me be the first to wish myself....."HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ASHOK"...do great everywhere you go.......may god guide you everywhere......"THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU".........
Ashok, 11:30, cyber cafe
....near the goregaon railway station!!