A day like no other

A day i will not atleast in the next few months. Ya. Thats for sure. I dint go to office today, without any particular reason. I just wanted a break..from that office. So i just called up one senior in the morning. And i faked...i told i have headache and dysentery. I had to think a lot..before i just called him up. I actually shouldnt have done it. Later on, I did feel guilty for telling a lie. And well..i am also not going to repeat that. But this day it became special in its own very kind. It was very different because the whole day i was all alone.....all alone in my flat..with noone besides me..no chitter chatter......and i enjoyed that. It was bliss. I spent the day reading books...cleaning my room....read old newspapers..had a chat with mum....and she also said i shudnt be doing this kind of thing.....just because that if something makes you feel guilty..you should not do it...Well..it was like listening to the heart and not to the soul....though this isnt a very big thing i did..people keep doing this......telling lies..faking things....but maybe i dont like it.....i hated it when a colleague actually called me up and asked me how i was......i was perfectly well and ...i had to say tht i am this n that....my guilty conscience...!

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How many of we feel that we need this kind of a day in our life? A day when you want to clear your mind..spending the day all by yourself.....enjoying the solitude.....sometimes it feels so great when you are alone..at times it happens doesnt it? You want to go far far away....fay from the maddening rush...you dont want to be bothered by whats happening in this world.....you want to come in terms with yourself......you are able to enjoy even that omlette that you made for yourself alongwith two slices of bread....even if it gets burnt its ok.....it still looks good and tastes better....it tastes like the best lunch you had in the last few weeks? weell...I feel I need this kind of day......I need it...I want it....again.

Now..why i liked the day? Why i am also grateful that i took it off? Its because i was all alone...and someone who knows me well also knows that its perfect for me to be this way.....be alone....all by myself..i enjoy my solitude! and i did that today.....i think that from the day i came to this mad place..first time i was at peace with myself....and this world. I recreated old memories...i read books...i studied an old book which i had already read....i listened to music with low volume....and i was actually able to recount the days that i was having a year back..back at home.....back at the college.....with friends ..i took my time to thank god for eveything i have in this life......for that he has blessed me with more than i deserve...so thats also another reason why this day was special. I took a look at old photographs...my old stamp book..my old coins that i had collected. I took a small nap in the evening......now its evening....and i am writing this.

It is a day like no other......

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No more....

SILLY BILLY(This name is good....a good nick...isnt it? A new nut friend of mine gave it to me..thanks Nuts!)

I cant speak...

Finally today i went to the DON BOSCO SHELTER. For the past few weeks i had been thinking about that....finally today i went there. I was in touch with this girl Gayatri...who was actually taking care of volunteers like me. So i went there..met her..and i told her that i can help the kids with their studies ..... so well there i was..i got a lot of kids to teach.....n listen to them. I met this kid who is in 8th grade and needed help with his English. I saw those kids....n then i felt what is being deprived of something. They get amazed at seeing mobiles......they were super amazed to see the pod....and they were so much interested to study.

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That is something i was never interested in. Just maybe because i went to a good school with cool fancy teachers n i never felt the need of studying....i had books....all kind of books i always needed...wanted...and there they are....sleeping in a big hall.....lined up.........every night. getting up and going to the nearest municipality school...........still they want to study. They have got ambitions....and they are grateful that they are in a better place than the slums....they want to grow up to become good citizens, and that they say would be paying back to these good people who brought them here. Not all are like that.....there are kids who were into drugs...now having been rehabilitated...they are here at the shelter...

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Still they know they are better....but they want to get out of here..they want their life to be fast forwarded....somehow! They are keen to study. This kid i was teaching..he seemed so so interested to study. I taught him for two hours.it was lunch time but he didn't want to go...i was feeling hungry too..so i told him that please go...we will continue later.............in between there were lot of kids i met..asked their name....and in between this kid came...

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I just patted him on the shoulder and asked him his name...weelll....i think this was just something that made me feel very bad...very very bad. He just flicked his fingers over his ears an mouth....and i figured out he cannot hear...niether can he speak. What could i do ?

I couldnt say anything to him....he could hear anything...nor could i gesture....i just made him feel bad. I cursed myself for that. After that i dint ask anyones name. These kids ..their life has been made better for sure, but still they lack these proper facilities and all...and it is also understandable that they cannot get it all. They will have to struggle and make their way......and they will. This kid i was teaching...he made me realize that what it is like to be feeling alone....whats its like to be sleeping with 150 other kids....he told me that when everybody sleeps he goes out..looks into the sky and thinks...what are these stars? what is this group of three stars..is it called something? I tried to tell him that its called a constellation...but he couldn't pronounce it. Soo.taught him something...and then he asked me at least 5 times....you will come back next week na? What if you dont?..please be back....all i said ...why not ..i will be back certainly...n i will be back for sure.

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We all are very lucky that we have this life....we have the pleasure of sitting infront of or PCs ..reading blogs...being comfy in the sofas....having the newest designer.... stuffing cokes n burgers.....still people are not happy....why the hell? Everyones crying....over this...over that..taking anti depressants? making themselves more depressed..we deserve it? No..maybe we just wnt it? maybe we dont need it..........and like this song i am hearing..

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But today atleast i realize that god has given me enough to be happy....to make others happy...and if i dont use my life for this..if i dont do what i can..n if i dont do what i should......then no wonders for calling me an idiot!