I cant speak...

Finally today i went to the DON BOSCO SHELTER. For the past few weeks i had been thinking about that....finally today i went there. I was in touch with this girl Gayatri...who was actually taking care of volunteers like me. So i went there..met her..and i told her that i can help the kids with their studies ..... so well there i was..i got a lot of kids to teach.....n listen to them. I met this kid who is in 8th grade and needed help with his English. I saw those kids....n then i felt what is being deprived of something. They get amazed at seeing mobiles......they were super amazed to see the pod....and they were so much interested to study.

...

That is something i was never interested in. Just maybe because i went to a good school with cool fancy teachers n i never felt the need of studying....i had books....all kind of books i always needed...wanted...and there they are....sleeping in a big hall.....lined up.........every night. getting up and going to the nearest municipality school...........still they want to study. They have got ambitions....and they are grateful that they are in a better place than the slums....they want to grow up to become good citizens, and that they say would be paying back to these good people who brought them here. Not all are like that.....there are kids who were into drugs...now having been rehabilitated...they are here at the shelter...

...

Still they know they are better....but they want to get out of here..they want their life to be fast forwarded....somehow! They are keen to study. This kid i was teaching..he seemed so so interested to study. I taught him for two hours.it was lunch time but he didn't want to go...i was feeling hungry too..so i told him that please go...we will continue later.............in between there were lot of kids i met..asked their name....and in between this kid came...

....

I just patted him on the shoulder and asked him his name...weelll....i think this was just something that made me feel very bad...very very bad. He just flicked his fingers over his ears an mouth....and i figured out he cannot hear...niether can he speak. What could i do ?

I couldnt say anything to him....he could hear anything...nor could i gesture....i just made him feel bad. I cursed myself for that. After that i dint ask anyones name. These kids ..their life has been made better for sure, but still they lack these proper facilities and all...and it is also understandable that they cannot get it all. They will have to struggle and make their way......and they will. This kid i was teaching...he made me realize that what it is like to be feeling alone....whats its like to be sleeping with 150 other kids....he told me that when everybody sleeps he goes out..looks into the sky and thinks...what are these stars? what is this group of three stars..is it called something? I tried to tell him that its called a constellation...but he couldn't pronounce it. Soo.taught him something...and then he asked me at least 5 times....you will come back next week na? What if you dont?..please be back....all i said ...why not ..i will be back certainly...n i will be back for sure.

...

We all are very lucky that we have this life....we have the pleasure of sitting infront of or PCs ..reading blogs...being comfy in the sofas....having the newest designer.... stuffing cokes n burgers.....still people are not happy....why the hell? Everyones crying....over this...over that..taking anti depressants? making themselves more depressed..we deserve it? No..maybe we just wnt it? maybe we dont need it..........and like this song i am hearing..

..

But today atleast i realize that god has given me enough to be happy....to make others happy...and if i dont use my life for this..if i dont do what i can..n if i dont do what i should......then no wonders for calling me an idiot!

A dull time

These days, all the while i kept looking for some place...some peace....some place where it could quiet, somewhere i could just sit alone..listen to the birds...think to myself....talk to myself....where no one is there to bother me...!! I never found it, i think i never will. So, what i do? Just stuff my earphones into my ears, with max volume i listen to John Denver....He is such a great singer. Am i getting mad or something?? I dont know but i am just not getting in to this screwed up mad rush city mode...i dont like the way people are living here...everybody lives their own life...just being selfish all the time...no time for anything...and also , now i think i understand why people are all looking for spirituality, yoga, meditation....may be that provides them some respite from the.

And worse is that, now i find myself strifing through the newspapers on sunday for the cathartic articles. Those all sound sweet for sometime, and you think that yes, this is the mantra to perfect everything!! But is it really? I dont know.

Although i have been one of those 'happy-go-lucky' type of persons, which i think i still am, but i dont feel good about it anymore like i used to. I guess this doesnt work. Sometime, being very enthusiatic also sucks you know. i think its just too early to say if this is right or wrong in the context which i am referring this to.

Well, all this doesnt make sense to me, all this i have written, i am basically very very confused now, i am very tensed, i am very worried about things for which i am not responsible..and i dont know if should be really worrying about it or not!! is this it??
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1108911753

All in all, i am not in a good mood. I didnt even want to write all this crap here, but even then i am doing it. I see people all around me, three kids on the street stoning a poor dog, i try to stop them but they dont stop. They might even pelt the stones at me..i dont know...so i dont insist anymore. Married couples out for a evening walk in this busy street coz thanks to the city which is called Mumbai, they dont have any park to go to ..i see people without the basic amenities..10 people stuffed into a tiny room...a common bathroom..the public utility which more than a 1000 people use everyday.....a sign board under which tons of garbage is dumped....all out of the bin...
the sign board reads CLEAN UP! ..almost funny ..is it?

The only thing i need to do now is CLEAN UP! my mind.. Life is good sometime, sometimes it is not too good... but still it is life. I guess we have our share of joy, great times, good times, better times, bad times. Right now, I am studying people....its good to sit somewhere and observe the people walking by, doing all sort of things. Guys just trying to impress girls, some other just talking about girls, other looking busy in their own personal ways..some doing loose talk....its good time pass thing@!! but its sllly tooo
....but who the hell gives a damn
Just now i had a Facebook thing also...i made me facebook......its in a mag here.....so i just made one!!!

A dull time

These days, all the while i kept looking for some place...some peace....some place where it could quiet, somewhere i could just sit alone..listen to the birds...think to myself....talk to myself....where no one is there to bother me...!! I never found it, i think i never will. So, what i do? Just stuff my earphones into my ears, with max volume i listen to John Denver....He is such a great singer. Am i getting mad or something?? I dont know but i am just not getting in to this screwed up mad rush city mode...i dont like the way people are living here...everybody lives their own life...just being selfish all the time...no time for anything...and also , now i think i understand why people are all looking for spirituality, yoga, meditation....may be that provides them some respite from the.

And worse is that, now i find myself strifing through the newspapers on sunday for the cathartic articles. Those all sound sweet for sometime, and you think that yes, this is the mantra to perfect everything!! But is it really? I dont know.

Although i have been one of those 'happy-go-lucky' type of persons, which i think i still am, but i dont feel good about it anymore like i used to. I guess this doesnt work. Sometime, being very enthusiatic also sucks you know. i think its just too early to say if this is right or wrong in the context which i am referring this to.

Well, all this doesnt make sense to me, all this i have written, i am basically very very confused now, i am very tensed, i am very worried about things for which i am not responsible..and i dont know if should be really worrying about it or not!!

All in all, i am not in a good mood. I didnt even want to write all this crap here, but even then i am doing it. I see people all around me, three kids on the street stoning a poor dog, i try to stop them but they dont stop. They might even pelt the stones at me..i dont know...so i dont insist anymore. Married couples out for a evening walk in this busy street coz thanks to the city which is called Mumbai, they dont have any park to go to ..i see people without the basic amenities..10 people stuffed into a tiny room...a common bathroom..the public utility which more than a 1000 people use everyday.....a sign board under which tons of garbage is dumped....all out of the bin...
the sign board reads CLEAN UP! ..almost funny ..is it?

The only thing i need to do now is CLEAN UP! my mind.. Life is good sometime, sometimes it is not too good... but still it is life. I guess we have our share of joy, great times, good times, better times, bad times. Right now, I am studying people....its good to sit somewhere and observe the people walking by, doing all sort of things. Guys just trying to impress girls, some other just talking about girls, other looking busy in their own personal ways..some doing loose talk....its good time pass thing@!! but its sllly tooo
....but who the hell gives a damn
Just now i had a Facebook thing also...i made me facebook......its in a mag here.....so i just made one!!!

A dull time

These days, all the while i kept looking for some place...some peace....some place where it could quiet, somewhere i could just sit alone..listen to the birds...think to myself....talk to myself....where no one is there to bother me...!! I never found it, i think i never will. So, what i do? Just stuff my earphones into my ears, with max volume i listen to John Denver....He is such a great singer. Am i getting mad or something?? I dont know but i am just not getting in to this screwed up mad rush city mode...i dont like the way people are living here...everybody lives their own life...just being selfish all the time...no time for anything...and also , now i think i understand why people are all looking for spirituality, yoga, meditation....may be that provides them some respite from the.

And worse is that, now i find myself strifing through the newspapers on sunday for the cathartic articles. Those all sound sweet for sometime, and you think that yes, this is the mantra to perfect everything!! But is it really? I dont know.

Although i have been one of those 'happy-go-lucky' type of persons, which i think i still am, but i dont feel good about it anymore like i used to. I guess this doesnt work. Sometime, being very enthusiatic also sucks you know. i think its just too early to say if this is right or wrong in the context which i am referring this to.

Well, all this doesnt make sense to me, all this i have written, i am basically very very confused now, i am very tensed, i am very worried about things for which i am not responsible..and i dont know if should be really worrying about it or not!!

All in all, i am not in a good mood. I didnt even want to write all this crap here, but even then i am doing it. I see people all around me, three kids on the street stoning a poor dog, i try to stop them but they dont stop. They might even pelt the stones at me..i dont know...so i dont insist anymore. Married couples out for a evening walk in this busy street coz thanks to the city which is called Mumbai, they dont have any park to go to ..i see people without the basic amenities..10 people stuffed into a tiny room...a common bathroom..the public utility which more than a 1000 people use everyday.....a sign board under which tons of garbage is dumped....all out of the bin...
the sign board reads CLEAN UP! ..almost funny ..is it?

The only thing i need to do now is CLEAN UP! my mind.. Life is good sometime, sometimes it is not too good... but still it is life. I guess we have our share of joy, great times, good times, better times, bad times. Right now, I am studying people....its good to sit somewhere and observe the people walking by, doing all sort of things. Guys just trying to impress girls, some other just talking about girls, other looking busy in their own personal ways..some doing loose talk....its good time pass thing@!! but its sllly tooo
....but who the hell gives a damn

The fish has got it all !

Another week gone by.......and same old story continues. Wake up..take an auto..go to office...have time pass....get back...eat ...sleep..good night....wake up..dumboooo...too mechanical it has become it seems. Well..let me not talk about that. I think saturday is a good day....it was a god day indeed.

-

Well...this week i just bought a new fish pond for me. This is because i have always loved pets. Since i was a kid..i liked to have pets with me. I had this big Bournvita Jar in my home..and i just forced my mom to get me two pairs of goldfish. She just hated pets....I tried so many times..once i got a kitten....the night the kitty shitted on the bed....so..she ws thrown out instantaneously ! I got a small dog..it was very sweet...but too angry and sharp teetehed for me to handle..even mum couldnt handle it..so two days and it went out....and i had to get an injection!! It was white...but tht time our house ws getting painted...we gave him a bath..and he fell into the colour..and became pink!!...Well...my fishes were with me for 4 months after which..my younger brothers just "murdered" them just beacuse we had a fight one day and they were like " hahaha..you fought with us and mom gave us a beating na..look now..we have killed ur fishes"...mannn.....i tell you....i cried like anything!..Hey that was way way back when was in fourth grade.....

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But i have always loved fishes..not because they are lovely or anything...ut simply because i love their "lifestyle"....well simply because

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They are obviously very cool...fishes are cool (they hv to b...)

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They are always at peace

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Watching them gives me a very nice picture of how good it must be to live all by yourself.....you dont have to think much... no1 is there to bother you all the time....u dont have to be in the hassles!!

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They are such amazing creatures and sometimes i just look at them and look at them and look at them....and well...it is always good to have someone alongwith you.....someone who can live alongside you....still never complain....and fishes have become my friends!!

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It must be good to be a fish! So,those were the Fishy Tales!!I think everybody must have a Pet.They can be your best friends...so adopt animals..!!! It wouls also be good for them....and good for you. Had i got lot of money...i wud gave adopted all the dogs in this city!!

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Well..apart from that.....there was a small party at the office friday....it was good..it was enjoyable....and monday on.....my fuse gone..........i am getting work big time!! So Sun day needs to be a Fun day............so everybody....have a great time...

Go GET a PET

go go go ..

Ashok

OH MY HOLY COW !!!

Just sing..sing a song...make it simple to last a whole life long...
Dont worry thats its not good enough for anyone else to hear!
Just sing..sing a song!!

Well.....this is one of the songs of "The Carpenters"...and i really love the whole idea behind these lines. Good..isnt it?
I have not been writing for the past week..almost two weeks....but i have been doing a lot these days......i ran the marathon and my photograph got published in one of the local newspapers here...my friends told me that..but i have not seen any of them.!!

I read a book..."HOLY COW !" by Sarah MacDonald ....and though i am not into writing a review for that still by all terms..it is a very good book. It was very interesting for me too read it.for...the first few pages i read the whole of me was burning...and i wanted to throw that book into a gutter!!..Not because it wasnt good...not at all...it was good. Its based upon how the writer had her time in INDIA...and it really might make any indian ashamed the way she describes india in the first few pages......she has given a really filthy description of the way she sees india. Even i never realized it that it was actually that way!! The reason i didnt like the description was that never before have i read about India the way she has described it....It made me laugh..and then it made me so so very bad of the mess which India actually is!!....hey tell me...is an Ambassador car a mix of "Rolls Royce" and a"russian tank".....or does a "cow" make the whole traffic come to a standstill on delhi roads......or are the "Sardars", the Irish of INDIA??well.its extremely funny..and the thing is that..its right!. After a few pages as she goes to different places in India...she sees all the religions....tries to learn them......and after so so very interesting things she talks about....i end that book and i feel good....the book is interesting...it is funny....it made me smile.....it made me feel bad about India...it made me feel good about India.....and in the end....i just popped out a very minuscule tear out of my eye!!

I have read many people who have been writing about India..but this book just was different .i loved the innocence with which she has written it.....i have become a fan of Sarah MacDonald.....she is just splendid...Kudos Sarah!!..Thank you for being so wonderful and kind to India.....and yes...about the problems you had here..Sorry for that!!.....I think it is a must must read for everyone..Its an old book....but its gr88 gr88.....

OOOOkkkk..after this review......i dont have much to write..just because i ahve not been thinking much lately....so i dont have anything to put down here....so dudes!!...tc
Ashok

FUN in the RUN..its marathon time!!!!

I think i am quite alright now......i am back to work...and fine. WOW....these tablets really work!!....So i went to office today and the whole day i did quite a lot of things....i was assigned a new project..i attended a meeting....a seminar which my senior colleague had to give. I was there to assist him, all the Team leaders and managers came and we had to actually teach them a new routing algorithm we have to implement. So, we are upgrading our technology. A new project, wherein we will be the first of the kind in INDIA to implement, and i am a part of it..i mean by whatever means..ok. In the end he told this to everybody and told us to be proud of it....BE PROUD OF IT....so ok i am. But it doesnt involve as much as intricacies as people think. I mean those managers without any technical language were like open-mouthed and in awe. So as an engineer now i know it can be easy to fool people just be using a few complicated technical terms. ...hehe. Then i had to make some reports, and i read horoscopes, a friend sent it to me.

I am a capri....so it told me that i am caring, i am honest, imaginative, leader, thinker.....u know all the god stuff. So ..pretty happy me. I just wish that it comes true ..all that was written. A good professional year....lot of oppurtunities....luck...haha......

As much as i am into science, i still belive in luck and fate and karma.....n everything. I think yes, there is something called luck. Something which suddenly interferes with everything you do. It can just help you at the time when everything seems to be going wrong, you dont have any direction to go on....and wham!!!...suddenly everything is good again. I have experienced this....but u know let luck just do its work...you just make sure you make your present good...do everything you can in the best way you can...rest will follow...n you will have a good luck!!

Ok, another thing...luck doesnt always interfere in a god way ok. Everything might seem to be going right, and suddenly you are nowhere... I'll tell you my observation...its a good one...


You know i have seen people whom others call "lucky"...are the ones who are really free..uncaring...who just live the moment...dont think much.....are good at heart..who dont hurt anybody...really!!......i will advise you to try this ..try being this way.....dont think much....abt the future or about the past.....you are sure to get lucky. Like me!!!...........haha

Yes......i have been lucky....in everything. Its like " FEEL GOOD". Oh i forgot this :

MUMBAI MARATHON, Sunday,20th January 2008

This marathon is being organized here in mumbai, one
of biggest in the world....because of the number of participants( blame.....no no....dont blame this time.....so thanks INDIA for being 2nd largest populous country in the world, and making us INDIANS proud to host the largest marathon!!!). Well, why i am telling this because i am also a part of it....due to ppl in my new office who really dragged me into it!!...can i run 6 kms? how long is it......?? So i'll be getting a T-shirt , a cap.......nd the good thing is that i'll be running for a cause..for each of the 50 people running from my firm, our company will donate a big amount of money to a child care center, an orphanage for the special kids.....so that makes me happy....i'll run for them. And who knows...i already said" I am LUCKY"...so may be this might happen....due to my good luck, all people running around me suddenly faint.....i am at the last....walking....and suddenly...everybody faints..lets say due to pollution here in Mumabi....and look whose there......Ashok..the winner of dream run in MARATHON, 2008.......okok more when i have ran that...and if i am still alive .....
i will write!!...one thing i can do to run....may be i can find a good girl...without a boyfriend at the run.....and i will run after her....... what do you say?..................hmmmmmmmmm..good idea..thanks to me.........i am just great........this suggestion to all those poor guys who run after girls......run for a CAUSE now!!!